Friday, February 13, 2009

My drumroll...

Alas, another Dia de Santo Valentino is upon remains a thorn in my side after all these years. I suspect I will be getting a "care package" from my family with candies, cards and the like.

Don't get me wrong, I love those little packages.
But, they are a constant reminder of failure in a particular department...
I hate this Halmark holiday, but it gets me every time.

The worst part is, those care packages remind me of the first season of How I Met Your Mother. In particular, Episode 13: "Drumroll, Please" where Ted (the main character) meets the most amazing girl. He finally clears his head about all the drama over another girl, Robin...

He goes to a wedding, and originally invited Robin. She bailed on him at the last minute because she had an opportunity to be the anchor for the news station she reports for. Of course, Ted being a great guy and all, he lets her follow her ambitions.

If you watch the show all the way up until then - starting with the pilot - you'll know that Ted bombed big time when trying to pursue Robin at first. This being said, she only agreed to go to the wedding (seemingly) as a friend to make it so Ted didn't waste his "and Guest" on the invitation (which is a whole different episode). So, Ted finally realizes he needs to move on.

Enter - Victoria:

Oh, this episode melts my stupid, overdramatic bleeding heart in ways that only true poetry can.

Victoria and Ted meet at the Wedding, and decide that the ruse of "wedding goggles" tends to ruin the experience of ever dating someone you met AT A WEDDING. It's the concept that the night, the romance in the room, the champagne and cake combined with a million other tiny factors...cause you to think the night was something more than it really is; because of that, wedding hook-ups turn out terrible the next day, and it ruins love for a lot of people. So they make a pact:

No commitments, no hooking up, no kissing, no names...but that they will treat the entire night like their first date ever, and make it perfect. Use the wedding goggles to their advantage, and just spend the "perfect" night together. They use the names Buttercup and Lando Calrissian at first, but someone ruins the name situation and they exchange 'real' names.

My favorite part is when they do a "lead up" kiss, because Victoria says, "The best part of any first kiss is the moment leading up to it. It's the drumroll...Because if the kiss is terrible, the magic is ruined." Butterflies. Chills. Utter agony...but in the best way.

While they are sharing a dance alone in the middle of the reception hall after everyone has already left, Ted tells Victoria that he found a flaw in her plan. That, even though the evening was perfect, and his memories of it will be phenominal...he will always have it ruined by the one worst memory of all: "At the end of the night, I have to remember the sight of you walking out that door and never being able to see you again..." She makes him close his eyes for one last surprise...and then, disappears.

It was a great ending, because the plan seemed so perfect...

But Ted realized what he had agreed to give up, and how amazing it was. It only made him more miserable that he couldn't keep perfection forever.

Ted called the bride, who told him there was nobody named Victoria on the guest list.

They figured it was a secondary fake name, because she really did want the night to be preserved forever.

It wasn't until Marshall insists on Ted asking the bride about the delicious cake, that the group finally realizes who she really was. The bride tells Ted that the cake was from a little place called the Buttercup Bakery.

The second 'fake' name was real all along; she wasn't on the guest list because she was the baker that made the cake. Ted and the gang take a cab out there so that he can finally get perfection...on the way there he contemplates what it would mean: if he does this, he shatters the facade of the perfect night and the best memory he'll ever have, but if he doesn't he risks losing the most perfect woman he's ever met.

Is it worth the risk?

Well, being a TV show, or course it is!

The character of Victoria fast became a producer and fan favorite. She was lovable, fun, pretty and perfect for Ted. The other characters saw it too...which is exactly why the writers eventually had to write her out...but they did it in a way I felt was most dignified - they made Ted the bad guy, and he the victim.

It was the only thing that salvaged the situation for me, and I think that's what they intended to do. She was TOO perfect. They needed more room for the series to build, and couldn't let it die in one year alone! So what did they do? Well, Ted and Robin eventually get together.

I think Robin is great and all, but she's no Victoria.

I have had my Karens, Natalies, Trudys, Robins and Stellas...but I've yet to meet a Victoria. And if I had, I wouldn't know. For all I know, I may have already missed out...but I guess I just won't know. The best part about this show is that it inspires me (or makes me delusional, whatever). It lets me know that crazy shit happens all the time, and I should embrace it...

...because someday when I'm telling my kids the story of how I met their mother, I want it to be LEGEN - wait for it - I hope you're not lactose intolerant, because the next part is DARY! LEGENDARY!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bass guitar that needs some pre-V-day rockin'. Happy Valentine's Day ladies. And guys, don't disgrace me today; if you're going to treat your woman right, do yourselves a favor and SUIT UP! Because it's one day out of the year where you get to make everything...


Over and out,


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