Monday, March 2, 2009

"The memories fade...

...Like looking through a fogged mirror.
Decision to decisions are made and not bought,
But I thought this wouldn’t hurt a lot.
I guess not.

Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it..."


I follow a few nerd celebrities on twitter, and Sarah Lane posted a link to this video earlier. I loved what The Mentalists (an unsigned all-female group of of the UK) just kind of did on a whim with only their iPhones and iPods. Check it!

I wasn't ever big on MGMT, but my friend Matt put me onto giving them another shot last year...I suppose I just wasn't expecting to just suddenly like them. Kind of funny how we see ourselves change a little more every once in a while.

So, weekend recap: the party was great, but i'm pretty sure I either had a severe case of food poisoning or was drugged (mixed opinions on both sides) but what I am sure of now is that it wasn't the alcohol that made me sick.

I took care of myself, and got better slowly Sunday, which was good because Jessica wasn't feeling well so we had to put training on hold for a couple of days. We reconvene tomorrow, and hopefully she's back to 100% so we can get our fitness on.

Today is also March 2nd. A big day for my family. It is my parents' 25th anniversary.

I rant often about how I have such a skewed vision of what relationships should be like, but I started out believing I would have a high school sweetheart like they did, and make it even a decade with someone special...

...over the years I've reevaluated that little conundrum. I learned slowly that my failed relationships weren't ever all my fault, but I wasn't innocent in causality. I said to myself Sunday morning that I would let this week be a cleansing process for the end of it I will try to decide a new direction for myself personally.

What turned out to be an odd start, was that in one day's time I was contacted by both of my major exes. Both conversations were very civil, very mature and grown up which I think surprised both of them as much as it did myself.

Angel is swamped with work, and she's all but forgotten what free time felt like. Her boyfriend will be graduating from UT Permian Basin in May, but then perhaps returning home to teach; she is about to finish her year-long hiatus from education (she finished her pre-med collegiate studies in three years) and start medical school. However, with recent turn of events, she is thinking of returning home to teach. This dilemma is making her rethink a lot of the direction in her life, which she had pretty much planned out to the t for as long as I've known her...this is only the second time I have ever heard a sliver of doubt in her voice.

Sky is also swamped, and wants to be restationed. She expressed this desire, along with the accompanying statement that she is lonely. We spoke through GoogleChat, and when she said those things I know her boyfriend was in the same room, she said "ignoring" her. She's taking classes again now that she is back from Iraq, but she's still insecure about her writing. She said that in the next month she will become armorer for her battalion (if I remember correctly) and as a result, she will have absolutely no free time - not for herself, her boyfriend or her friends. She's never thought once about quitting anything, but for the first time I heard her say that she was ready to be done with everything because she was tired of it all.

No, those aren't their real names. I like to get an ok-go from people before I use their names, images, etc in my blog. It's out of courtesy for them. Regardless, those nicknames are ones that they understand thoroughly; if they were so inclined they could find my blog, read this and then comment as they wish.

I have a big week coming up. Lots of changes to be made, and important cliffs to jump off of. More of that as it comes. For now, I implore you to enjoy your calm Monday night while you can. It only gets more exciting from here...

Over and out,


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