Thursday, April 2, 2009

Only fools rush April...

...which makes me a fool. I just wanted to make a brief history of April Fools Day in my immediate family. I'll bold my personal accomplishments, and the rest generally involve some ploys my brothers did against our parents.
  1. Daniel started it by convincing our dad that he was choking at the dinner table. My dad threw chairs across the room to give him the Heimlich...We had to hold back our dad once he found out it was a joke, and now if Daniel starts to choke, my dad makes us help him.
  2. The next year, I convinced my friends that I was married to my "ex", Kimberly. We got dressed up, took pictures with her family and she borrowed her mom's HUMONGOUS diamond ring. That was a three-week long joke starting on my birthday and ending on April Fools Day. Man it was awesome. about 35 people called or wrote us to congratulate us on the engagement (or tell me how stupid I was for going back to her).
  3. Two years later, while I was with my ex, Cassandra, I convinced my parents (via email) that she and I had eloped...because I had knocked her up. Since they weren't involved in the previous year, they believed me right away; My dad even started packing a suitcase and yelled at my older brother for "encouraging me". The end of the email read "P.S. April Fools"
  4. Last year, my younger brother Derek called my parents and left a voicemail saying, "I was arrested because this guy was threatening to hit his girlfriend and I kicked the shit out of him." He even turned on the waterworks, saying, "I messed him up pretty bad...they took him in an ambulance." He had his friends, and us (his brothers) add to the drama. After both my parents left their respective works and started the two-hour drive to his school, my mother called every jail and station in the area until finally a cop said, "Are you sure he isn't April Fooling you?" Then they yelled at us and vowed never to get caught again.
  5. This year, I decided to use something my mother told me against people: "You have too much stuff online, you're going to get your identity stolen!" I laughed at her, and then pretended that my account had been stolen, and $30,000 worth of charges were made. I even had most of the people I fooled throughout the day come back and help make it seem more real. The total was over 40 people fooled...losing count after the story spread beyond my circle of friends.
I have on major rule when it comes to lying: If you're going to tell a lie, when questioned about it don't give up right away. Instead, make up and EVEN BIGGER lie to overshadow the first one. If questioned further, take the lie further and always stand your ground. If I can make my own parents think I'm married, then I've done something right.

True Story.

Anyways, that was my reminiscent April Fools entry. Leave me a comment with your past jokes and exploits! I love a good laugh...and plus, once the dirt is settled, nobody was hurt in any of our jokes...except Daniel.
Worth It!

Over and out,

David Lucio

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