"In the summertime...

you got women, you got women on your mind..."

And how! But let's be more specific, this is the summer of the nerd for me. I am picking up a new job at the newspaper as a webmaster now, hoping to be setting up a new server for hosting. I might help redesign the website too if I'm bored, but something tells me I won't need to. But I digress...

...women. Queens on the nerd world, to be precise. I love them dearly, but not in the creepy stalkerish manner. More like, the extreme respect for beautiful, smart, tech-savvy, independent, renowned women of the geek and nerd worlds. I should make them crowns. Yeah.

I have more than likely talked about all of these women in the past, but I would like to remind everyone why it is I love them so much. So here is my list of the...

Top 5 Geek Goddesses

#5. Marina Orlova...

She barely makes my list, not so much because of who she is, but because of the website she is poster girl for. I suppose she's not much bigger in the geek world than Obama Girl is in the political world, but Marina Orlova is Hot For Words.

Her definition-related webvideos, russian accent and good looks have skyrocketed her geek fame. Her Youtube channel is one of the most watched on the net, New Yorker Magazine called her "the sexiest Philologist in the world" and in 2007 she was voted "World’s #1 Sexiest Geek" in a contest held by Wired Magazine.

Oh, and did I mention she has two Philology degrees - one for English and one for Russian. Marina lives by her creed "Intelligence is Sexy", and I can see why. The world has grown hot for teacher, and the teacher is hot for words.


#4. The Women of G4...

Ok, so this is a group of women, yes. But nonetheless, it's hard to have any of them without the others...and besides, if Norse Mythology can group the Fates (Norns) together, then I don't see any reason to question the method! This collection includes the current roster of women working at the G4TV Studios in Los Angeles, California:

Olivia Munn - Host of Attack of the Show! (my favorite show in existence) alongside Kevin Pereira, she brings a gaggle of laughter, a fear of balloons and an inexplicable love of pie to my home almost every weekday. Oh, and did I mention she's dressed up as Wonder Woman and Princess Leia Organa in the slave-gold bikini.

Morgan Webb - Host of X-Play (the most spot-on reviews of games you'll ever find IMO) alongside Adam Sessler. She is also known for her awesome ever-changing hairstyles when she worked on The Screen Savers alongside Leo Laporte and our No. 4 goddess (but more on that later). Recently she was a guest on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon as one of the world's best Videogame Experts.

Kristin Holt-Adams - Host of on-again, off-again show Cheat, she has also been a correspondent for American Idol. She recently got married but it doesn't stop this gorgeous Texan from making the list...afterall, she was a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader before she hosted a show about videogame tips.

Layla Kayleigh - Correspondent for G4, she was recurring host of The Feed until March 16, 2009. She is also a host for the MTV reality show America's Best Dance Crew. Even though she left G4, I have to be honest - her British accent was the only thing that made listening to those current events interesting anyway.

Alison Haislip - Correspondent for Attack of the Show!, she's the peppiest blonde at G4, and sometimes helps take over Kevin and Olivia's duties with her own sidekick Blair Herter (aka Man Blair). Why did I add her? Because there is no "y" in the name of this goofy vixen, and I forgive her for being from New Jersey.

Blair Butler - Correspondent for G4 (aka Lady Blair), she is a renowned comic book aficionado! That's right, comic books. She loves all things nerd though. Any woman who can spout off Marvel, DC, Dark Horse and Indie comics like she does definitely bring flair (I'll call it "Blair flair").


#3. Sarah Lane...

What can I say about Sarah Lane that doesn't already speak Volumes? She started out her awesome career as host of Tech TV show The Screen Savers before the merger with G4. Once that happened, a new show was born called Attack of the Show! where she worked as the original female host (there was a brief stint with Chi-Lan Lieu, but Sarah was the major player).

Sarah got married in May 2006 to one of the correspondents on the show, Brendan Moran. They both left the show to begin a world-wide honeymoon trip, and pursue other ventures, so Sarah's hosting slot on AOTS was eventually filled by Olivia Munn (as previously mentioned).

After that., Sarah worked as Production Manager for Rev3 (where another of our goddesses also worked), but when the company started to struggle, she was laid off.

On December 31, 2008, she announced on her blog that she was divorced. In 2009, she began hosting webcasts with her fans on her blog and filled them in on her new happenings! She now works at Current News in San Francisco and also hosts a webshow (courtesy of Leo Laporte) every friday called This Week in Fun. Glad to have you back in the spotlight Sarah!
@SarahLane


#2. Felicia Day

You might recognize her from recent Sears commercials, or perhaps you've seen her spots in episodes of Joss Whedon productions like Dollhouse or Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but in the past couple of years Felicia Day has earned her digital star on the internet celeb hotlist.

During the writers' strike that started in 2007, many local celebs jumped on the bandwagon and decided to stop accepting parts from shows that the writers left. During that time, a long lull set in where new hit shows were no longer in production. Enter: The Internet.

Whedon had an idea for a short webseries/musical that featured an evil scientist as the protagonist, a superhero as the antagonist and a pretty girl as the mutual love interest of the two enemies! Maybe you've heard of it? It's called Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog, and it features Felicia as the cute, laundry-doing humanitarian Penny.

At the same time, Felicia was also responsible for producing/writing a webseries smash-hit called The Guild, about a group of MMORPG (like World of Warcraft) players that meet in real life to help each other become more social. The first season was hosted entirely online and filmed out of pocket, but the second season was picked up by Xbox Live (they recently signed on for a third season).

At the 2009 South by Southwest, Felicia helped host a panel about the future of movies and series programming on the web. She has quickly topped the most-wanted geek list for cameos, roles and help with other web productions. Now if only she'd accept a starring role in my life.
@FeliciaDay


#1. Veronica Belmont

Yeah! I went there! My number one pick of the geek goddesses is none other than Veronica Belmont, the face of our generation in social-networking.

She made her big debut to the world at CNET, where she had interned and then hired full-time. While there she worked on a podcast called Buzz Out Loud. She eventually moved on to video productions at CNET, including Prizefight! where she set tech titans to the test (forgive the alliteration).

Veronica left CNET to work at Mahalo Daily for almost a year before leaving. Veronica plays World of Warcraft as a Tauren named Winema, and in true nerd fashion the first video she worked on while at Mahalo was WoW celebrity Leeroy Jenkins at the 2007 BlizzCon (/jealous).

After leaving Mahalo, she began work at the same place our No. 3 goddess was working - Rev3. But rather than behind the scenes like she had grown accustomed to, she would be front and center as a host for the show Tekzilla. A couple of month after that, Sony Playstation Network also asked her to host Qore, a subscription-based series of what they call "a highly interactive, monthly lifestyle gaming program covering the world inside Playstation".

Veronica still hosts Tekzilla and Qore, but where her geekiness branches out is her attention to social networking sites. Veronica has hosted her own blog for years, maintains her own Facebook (I know, because she just responded to a post of mine), updates her Twitter regularly (personal @Veronica and WoW @AIE_Winema) and even participates in a podcast for her sci-fi/fantasy bookclub called The Sword and Lazer.

She's charming, funny, not ashamed of her geekiness AND still plays videogames (she should PST Sunstrider on Detheroc), and that is why she is the No. 1 Geek Goddess. Still not convinced? Just check her out in this recent photoshoot with The Bui Brothers. Go on, don't be afraid. She won't bite (that I know of)...




There you have it folks, let the Summer of the Geek Commence! You now have your goddesses in place on a pedestal, and plenty of ways to keep up with them from here on out. I hope you learned a little bit about the power of smart women...mark my words, big things are to come by their hands.



Over and out,

David Lucio

↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A Start

You are a failure to all nerd-kind if you do not recognize this time-honored traditional collection of button presses, otherwise known as The Konami Code.

It's a cheat code that was first implemented by the Konami corporation (now most famous for their work with the Metal Gear and Dance Dance Revolution series) in one of their earlier games: Gradius.

Since then, it has been expanded to multiple titles, multiple platforms and other game companies even found ways to use this code as a cameo in homage to the legendary sequence.

The internet has trifled with many things since its maturity in the early 90's, including scares regarding privacy, information sharing and especially the concept of hackers. The idea is that a hacker can use a sequence of commands and button presses (sound familiar?) to gain access to something the public might not otherwise have permission to see.

The idea isn't far fetched, and is based of a history of hidden content accessible to people by use of codes. As a new-age homage to the Konami Code, some webmasters even program back-doors (yes, those same ones hackers are supposed to use) that are MEANT to be stumbled upon by the average web-surfer.

A friend of mine recently showed me that the Konami Code could be used on Facebook, and that there is a website that lists other sites that have backdoors. Go ahead, visit the site and type in the following -

(While not in a text box) Press on your key pad: ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← →
Then press: [B] [A] and [Enter]

See what I mean!? Facebook currently shows lens flares via this code. For a short amount of time, the webmasters at ESPN.com had hidden a backdoor that would flash unicorns all over your screen when you entered the Konami Code. Don't believe me?

It's true. Immediately following the broadcast of this segment during Attack of the Show, the webmaster was asked to remove the backdoor from the site. But still, it was a clever little cookie thrown into a jocks' website. The code will undoubtedly live on in infamy forever, but right now it is the neatest little nook on the internet. Give it a shot some time, you might just get a power-up.



Over and out,

David Lucio

Behind My Giant Robot's Eyes

I've never been big on hip-hop, I'll be the first to admit that. In fact, I despised it growing up; I was too into my punk music and busy hating the popular people in school to really care at all about rap, hip-hop or R&B. In retrospect, my hatred was more of a statement, and an ill placed one.

After a while, I decided to give it a chance, and my senior year I introduced myself to some more popular artists like Jay-Z and Kanye West. It was an instant kind of respect, not so much for their lyrical value, but for the overall feeling I got from the rhythm and harmony.

I grew more disdain for certain artists, and started to pick up appreciation for other names. I adore the efforts of crossover, like Gym Class Heroes who blend hip-hop and rock. But as for pure hip-hop, my favorite has been Lupe Fiasco for a while; his message transcends his music, and in true nerd order he raps about stuff that makes me smile.



"As I spy from behind my giant robot's eyes,
I keep him happy 'cause I might fall out if he cries,
Scared of heights so I might pass out if he flies,
Keep him on autopilot 'cause I can't drive..."

- Lupe Fiasco
Daydream

I actually went to an event and interviewed Lupe for one of my earliest stories as a student journalist. He's as down to earth as one might imagine someone who raps about giant robots could be, and so I stuck with him.

On days like today - 75 degrees outside, sunlight peeking through fluffy white clouds, a cool breeze and not a worry on my mind - his music is the best to get me from place to place. Hip-hop had to earn a spot in my music library, but now it's nuzzled between the indie and the alternative quietly, waiting for its turn to play.

Today is one of those days...give it a shot. Lupe is retired now, busy running his label - F&F (part of Atlantic Records) - but he still keeps on the scene. I remember he was even approached to go over to Roc-A-Fella Records by Shawn Carter himself, but turned it down because his loyalty lies with his crew. Much respect.

Anyway, to anyone who hasn't kept up with me in a while, and if I ever chastised you for listening to rap, hip-hop or R&B, I formally apologize. There's definitely some gems out there, but sometimes you just have to find the beat that makes you nod your head.



Over and Out,

David Lucio

Frank Sinatra

...is timeless. He really is. And that's not saying the rest of the Rat Pack was any less amazing, but come on it's Frank. He put a magic into his music that...well, I can't help but want to love someone.

Yesterday (being that it's now 1:45 a.m.) was Earth Day, and the day was fitting: the sun was out, the sky was clear and it was a beautiful example of springtime in Texas. And tonight the air is crisp, cooling off and wonderful, and as I sip a coffee to put me to sleep (yes, sleep) I am reminded of my favorite Sinatra song:



Fly Me to the Moon

"Fly me to the moon,
And let me sing among those stars.
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars.

In other words, hold my hand.
In other words, darling kiss me.

Fill my heart with song,
And let me sing for ever more.
You are all I long for,
All I worship and adore.

In other words, please be true!
In other words, I love you..."

- Francis Albert Sinatra
from: It Might as Well Be Swing (1964)


So good. Makes me smile. And damn could he pull of a suit. Anyway, Denton's Arts & Jazz Festival is this weekend, and I will be in attendance. It might not be the same kind of music, but I do love me a good bass line, some sweet saxophone, echoing trumpets and mean guitar riffs. Plus, I will probably meet up with a few people there, so if you're around give me a call Friday night.



Over and out,

David Lucio

The Squirrel

This is simply a whim update, because I've had several discussions recently regarding how men handle picking up women, and not overlapping targets with their friends. Some people call it shotgun, some call it dibs, and other just simply refer to it as "calling something" - but when it comes to prospective dating potential, I like to recognize it as "The Squirrel Rule". Urban Dictionary entries state the definition as follows:

Squirrel - 1. (n) A title given to a woman by man, used within that man's circle of male friends in order to express a form of affection-based ownership. 2. calling~ (v) The act of bringing one's friends' attention to a gorgeous woman in the vicinity; by doing so, it is expressly understood that the "caller" has priority in pursuing the target for romantic purposes.

It's a little convoluted, sure, but it makes sense, and the action it describes is relatively understood. It applies to both men and women in the dating realm. And one little known rule is that under no circumstances are people in relationships permitted to call dibs on anyone that isn't their already-declared paramour. Doing so is almost as bad as vocally expressing intent to cheat. That's just how it works.

The Bro Code even has a clause devoted to this very science of calling, but because the idea is already understood between guy friends, the article takes it steps further:

Article 62
In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first had dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven't purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they're the same height, the Bro with the longer "dry spell" has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo* shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there.

* Rock, Paper, Scissors for Bros

I don't know if it's a bit overboard to say that this is one of the most important rules to keep for close friends and siblings in similar dating-age brackets. Personally, I've always held this rule sacred; I would never steal the prospective date of any of my brothers or bros.

Between my older brother Daniel and I, it was always unspoken. We're only a year apart, so he made sure not to fish in my waters and I not in his. I did have problems with my little brother Derek through most of High School, but it was a string misunderstandings and misguided decisions on his part. We moved past it right before I left to college, because I wasn't going to hold it against him...he's my brother.

But as far as the rule applies to friendships, breaking it is a cardinal sin! Breaking of the rule can effectively ruin friendships. And typically the caller will not move past their interest in the Squirrel, leading to possible awkward situations in the future should the thief continue romantic relations with the target.


Now, one thing I have been asked to clarify is the reasoning behind using the title "Squirrel" (as opposed to another animal or action). The truth is, I'm not sure where it started, but all signs trace it back to the movie Bring it On, where the jocks and male cheerleaders refer to the gorgeous cheerleaders as Squirrels; they use it in order to subtly point attention to girls walking by without it seeming odd. Also, the act of breaking the rule was referred to as "scamming".

In my defense, the first time I heard the term used was in a webseries I watched called "We Need Girlfriends": In fact, it's the very first word used in the (very short) series, and comes into play heavily when the main character starts dating the same gorgeous blonde. Just watch and see...





Over and out,

David Lucio

New Plan

I am ill...probably just a common cold. Medication wasn't working, so I decided to change strategies and take a page out of Barney Stinson's method for getting better:

"I'm fine. My nose is just overflowing with awesome, and I had to get some of it out...Oh Robin, my simple friend from the untamed north. Let me tell you about a little thing I like to call 'Mind over Body. Whenever I start feeling sick, I just stop being sick and be awesome instead. True story. Yep, in two minutes I'm gonna pound a sixer of Redbull, hop in a cab, play a couple of hours of lazer-tag, maybe get a spray-on tan. It's gonna be LEGEN - wait for it..."

[Falls Asleep]

How I Met Your Mother - Season 2
Episode 11: How Lily Stole Christmas

So now begins the treatment process. But first I need another sip of Nyquil and a quick nap. But THEN I'm gonna start the treatment process...yeah. Wish me luck!



Over and Out,

David Lucio

I have to stop watching The Office now

If you haven't been keeping up with The Office, I won't give out too many spoilers other than the big facts: Michael and Pam both quit Dunder Mifflin. And with that, tonight they finally hired a new receptionist...

...and now I have to stop watching. "Why, David?" you may ask allowed, wondering what could possibly have freaked me out. Well, you see, I recognized the new girl, Kelly (a second Kelly, yes). At first I couldn't put my finger on it, but then I realized it was because her hair was getting in the way. Soooooooo I imagined her appearance the way I thought she SHOULD have looked: slightly curly red hair with some freckles. Then it hit me:



Yeah. Same girl. From one of the Derrick Comedy sketches. I won't be able to watch another episode of The Office without thinking of her making it "so dry" for someone. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my rant for the evening...

[UPDATE] Confirmed who she was finally. Her name is Ellie Kemper, and apparently she's made a name for herself doing web-based comedy. I found a lot of her stuff on Funny or Die. Observe:

A Practical Guide to Racism: Office Hours - watch more funny videos

over and out,

David Lucio

Pet Peeves

I have a number of them. This afternoon I ran across a few that kind of ruined my happiness factor for the day, and now I kinda wanna drive my car into a light post at 120 mph without a seatbelt on.

Here's a brief list. Preface each of these with
"It is one of my biggest pet peeves...

• ...to be hung up on me when I have something important to talk about. Why answer in the first place? If you don't want to talk, either excuse yourself or don't bother answering the phone. Just don't hang up. Very rude.
• ...when people to ask me to do something to help them, but then they leave you hanging. Ask me to help you move furniture at 6 a.m.? Sure. I wake up, you never call, and then I find out you overslept...not cool.
• ...to be told to call back at _____ time only to sit through the entire ringing and wind up at voicemail. Oh, what's that? Your phone was on silent? Use goddamn vibrate, that's what the fuck it's for...and if you're afraid of your phone making noise, then turn it off! Why do humans suck at technology?
• ...when someone tells me one week that I did something wrong, and makes me feel bad, but the following week when I go out of my way to fix that error it suddenly makes me worse than I was before. Make up your damn mind on what it is you want.
• ...to be text messaged back that someone doesn't want to talk to me in an obviously bitter way. Can't people just have the gaul to call me and tell me? And furthermore, if they've got no problem hanging up on me, then they should have no qualms with calling to voice opinions.

...Do you understand?"
When you strike these nerves, I will become very agitated, and verbally hostile in tone. My diction will change to something more formal, which is how I make myself calm down when speaking.

But just because I react this way to a pet peeve, doesn't you (or anyone else) any right to degrade my ability to be a friend...goddamnit I'm a damn good friend and I want some gratitude. I know that's a horrible thing to say, but I am grateful for little things, and would hope people would be more grateful for what I do.

When I drive someone somewhere, keep someone company, spot someone cash, help someone (metaphorically) "exercise a demon" from their past, let someone crash on my couch, take care of someone while they're sick, help someone move, wingman for someone or even just listen to them rant...is it wrong of me to ask them to just not PEEVE me!? Think about it...

Also, while writing this, I did a random search on YouTube for Pet Peeves and found this hilarious one by Olivia Munn, co-host of my favorite show ever Attack of the Show. Enjoy!





Over and out,

David Lucio

The Perks of Being Role Player

Listening to a live interview with Wil Wheaton, who's singing the praises of nerds everywhere - "D&D matters because of the basics: it reenforces good math skills, engages the imagination, encourages people to be social regularly..."

It's going on at http://www.mynorthwest.com and it's really entertaining. I played D&D for a short while (as any good nerd should at least once) but I've never been a huge advocate for it. I just like when people publicly say that being a nerd is good for kids.

Most parents start with sports and Baby Einstein videos...someday my children will be rolling 20-sided die, shuffling cards, playing videogames and reading books. Because the nerdiness should start early...the sports comes from peer and parental pressure later. Except football. I hated playing football.


Over and out,

David Lucio

Only fools rush April...

...which makes me a fool. I just wanted to make a brief history of April Fools Day in my immediate family. I'll bold my personal accomplishments, and the rest generally involve some ploys my brothers did against our parents.

1. Daniel started it by convincing our dad that he was choking at the dinner table. My dad threw chairs across the room to give him the Heimlich...We had to hold back our dad once he found out it was a joke, and now if Daniel starts to choke, my dad makes us help him.
2. The next year, I convinced my friends that I was married to my "ex", Kimberly. We got dressed up, took pictures with her family and she borrowed her mom's HUMONGOUS diamond ring. That was a three-week long joke starting on my birthday and ending on April Fools Day. Man it was awesome. about 35 people called or wrote us to congratulate us on the engagement (or tell me how stupid I was for going back to her).
3. Two years later, while I was with my ex, Cassandra, I convinced my parents (via email) that she and I had eloped...because I had knocked her up. Since they weren't involved in the previous year, they believed me right away; My dad even started packing a suitcase and yelled at my older brother for "encouraging me". The end of the email read "P.S. April Fools"
4. Last year, my younger brother Derek called my parents and left a voicemail saying, "I was arrested because this guy was threatening to hit his girlfriend and I kicked the shit out of him." He even turned on the waterworks, saying, "I messed him up pretty bad...they took him in an ambulance." He had his friends, and us (his brothers) add to the drama. After both my parents left their respective works and started the two-hour drive to his school, my mother called every jail and station in the area until finally a cop said, "Are you sure he isn't April Fooling you?" Then they yelled at us and vowed never to get caught again.
5. This year, I decided to use something my mother told me against people: "You have too much stuff online, you're going to get your identity stolen!" I laughed at her, and then pretended that my account had been stolen, and $30,000 worth of charges were made. I even had most of the people I fooled throughout the day come back and help make it seem more real. The total was over 40 people fooled...losing count after the story spread beyond my circle of friends.

I have on major rule when it comes to lying: If you're going to tell a lie, when questioned about it don't give up right away. Instead, make up and EVEN BIGGER lie to overshadow the first one. If questioned further, take the lie further and always stand your ground. If I can make my own parents think I'm married, then I've done something right.

True Story.

Anyways, that was my reminiscent April Fools entry. Leave me a comment with your past jokes and exploits! I love a good laugh...and plus, once the dirt is settled, nobody was hurt in any of our jokes...except Daniel.
Worth It!



Over and out,

David Lucio