...is timeless. He really is. And that's not saying the rest of the Rat Pack was any less amazing, but come on it's Frank. He put a magic into his music that...well, I can't help but want to love someone.
Yesterday (being that it's now 1:45 a.m.) was Earth Day, and the day was fitting: the sun was out, the sky was clear and it was a beautiful example of springtime in Texas. And tonight the air is crisp, cooling off and wonderful, and as I sip a coffee to put me to sleep (yes, sleep) I am reminded of my favorite Sinatra song:
Fly Me to the Moon
"Fly me to the moon, And let me sing among those stars. Let me see what spring is like On Jupiter and Mars.
In other words, hold my hand. In other words, darling kiss me.
Fill my heart with song, And let me sing for ever more. You are all I long for, All I worship and adore.
In other words, please be true! In other words, I love you..."
- Francis Albert Sinatra from: It Might as Well Be Swing (1964)
So good. Makes me smile. And damn could he pull of a suit. Anyway, Denton's Arts & Jazz Festival is this weekend, and I will be in attendance. It might not be the same kind of music, but I do love me a good bass line, some sweet saxophone, echoing trumpets and mean guitar riffs. Plus, I will probably meet up with a few people there, so if you're around give me a call Friday night.
This is simply a whim update, because I've had several discussions recently regarding how men handle picking up women, and not overlapping targets with their friends. Some people call it shotgun, some call it dibs, and other just simply refer to it as "calling something" - but when it comes to prospective dating potential, I like to recognize it as "The Squirrel Rule". Urban Dictionary entries state the definition as follows:
Squirrel - 1. (n) A title given to a woman by man, used within that man's circle of male friends in order to express a form of affection-based ownership. 2. calling~ (v) The act of bringing one's friends' attention to a gorgeous woman in the vicinity; by doing so, it is expressly understood that the "caller" has priority in pursuing the target for romantic purposes.
It's a little convoluted, sure, but it makes sense, and the action it describes is relatively understood. It applies to both men and women in the dating realm. And one little known rule is that under no circumstances are people in relationships permitted to call dibs on anyone that isn't their already-declared paramour. Doing so is almost as bad as vocally expressing intent to cheat. That's just how it works.
The Bro Code even has a clause devoted to this very science of calling, but because the idea is already understood between guy friends, the article takes it steps further:
Article 62 In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first had dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven't purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they're the same height, the Bro with the longer "dry spell" has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo* shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there.
* Rock, Paper, Scissors for Bros
I don't know if it's a bit overboard to say that this is one of the most important rules to keep for close friends and siblings in similar dating-age brackets. Personally, I've always held this rule sacred; I would never steal the prospective date of any of my brothers or bros.
Between my older brother Danieland I, it was always unspoken. We're only a year apart, so he made sure not to fish in my waters and I not in his. I did have problems with my little brother Derek through most of High School, but it was a string misunderstandings and misguided decisions on his part. We moved past it right before I left to college, because I wasn't going to hold it against him...he's my brother.
But as far as the rule applies to friendships, breaking it is a cardinal sin! Breaking of the rule can effectively ruin friendships. And typically the caller will not move past their interest in the Squirrel, leading to possible awkward situations in the future should the thief continue romantic relations with the target.
Now, one thing I have been asked to clarify is the reasoning behind using the title "Squirrel" (as opposed to another animal or action). The truth is, I'm not sure where it started, but all signs trace it back to the movie Bring it On, where the jocks and male cheerleaders refer to the gorgeous cheerleaders as Squirrels; they use it in order to subtly point attention to girls walking by without it seeming odd. Also, the act of breaking the rule was referred to as "scamming".
In my defense, the first time I heard the term used was in a webseries I watched called "We Need Girlfriends": In fact, it's the very first word used in the (very short) series, and comes into play heavily when the main character starts dating the same gorgeous blonde. Just watch and see...
I am ill...probably just a common cold. Medication wasn't working, so I decided to change strategies and take a page out of Barney Stinson's method for getting better:
"I'm fine. My nose is just overflowing with awesome, and I had to get some of it out...Oh Robin, my simple friend from the untamed north. Let me tell you about a little thing I like to call 'Mind over Body. Whenever I start feeling sick, I just stop being sick and be awesome instead. True story. Yep, in two minutes I'm gonna pound a sixer of Redbull, hop in a cab, play a couple of hours of lazer-tag, maybe get a spray-on tan. It's gonna be LEGEN - wait for it..."
So now begins the treatment process. But first I need another sip of Nyquil and a quick nap. But THEN I'm gonna start the treatment process...yeah. Wish me luck!
If you haven't been keeping up with The Office, I won't give out too many spoilers other than the big facts: Michael and Pam both quit Dunder Mifflin. And with that, tonight they finally hired a new receptionist...
...and now I have to stop watching. "Why, David?" you may ask allowed, wondering what could possibly have freaked me out. Well, you see, I recognized the new girl, Kelly (a second Kelly, yes). At first I couldn't put my finger on it, but then I realized it was because her hair was getting in the way. Soooooooo I imagined her appearance the way I thought she SHOULD have looked: slightly curly red hair with some freckles. Then it hit me:
Yeah. Same girl. From one of the Derrick Comedy sketches. I won't be able to watch another episode of The Office without thinking of her making it "so dry" for someone. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my rant for the evening...
[UPDATE] Confirmed who she was finally. Her name is Ellie Kemper, and apparently she's made a name for herself doing web-based comedy. I found a lot of her stuff on Funny or Die. Observe:
I have a number of them. This afternoon I ran across a few that kind of ruined my happiness factor for the day, and now I kinda wanna drive my car into a light post at 120 mph without a seatbelt on.
Here's a brief list. Preface each of these with "It is one of my biggest pet peeves...
...to be hung up on me when I have something important to talk about. Why answer in the first place? If you don't want to talk, either excuse yourself or don't bother answering the phone. Just don't hang up. Very rude.
...when people to ask me to do something to help them, but then they leave you hanging. Ask me to help you move furniture at 6 a.m.? Sure. I wake up, you never call, and then I find out you overslept...not cool.
...to be told to call back at _____ time only to sit through the entire ringing and wind up at voicemail. Oh, what's that? Your phone was on silent? Use goddamn vibrate, that's what the fuck it's for...and if you're afraid of your phone making noise, then turn it off! Why do humans suck at technology?
...when someone tells me one week that I did something wrong, and makes me feel bad, but the following week when I go out of my way to fix that error it suddenly makes me worse than I was before. Make up your damn mind on what it is you want.
...to be text messaged back that someone doesn't want to talk to me in an obviously bitter way. Can't people just have the gaul to call me and tell me? And furthermore, if they've got no problem hanging up on me, then they should have no qualms with calling to voice opinions.
...Do you understand?" When you strike these nerves, I will become very agitated, and verbally hostile in tone. My diction will change to something more formal, which is how I make myself calm down when speaking.
But just because I react this way to a pet peeve, doesn't you (or anyone else) any right to degrade my ability to be a friend...goddamnit I'm a damn good friend and I want some gratitude. I know that's a horrible thing to say, but I am grateful for little things, and would hope people would be more grateful for what I do.
When I drive someone somewhere, keep someone company, spot someone cash, help someone (metaphorically) "exercise a demon" from their past, let someone crash on my couch, take care of someone while they're sick, help someone move, wingman for someone or even just listen to them rant...is it wrong of me to ask them to just not PEEVE me!? Think about it...
Also, while writing this, I did a random search on YouTube for Pet Peeves and found this hilarious one by Olivia Munn, co-host of my favorite show ever Attack of the Show. Enjoy!
Listening to a live interview with Wil Wheaton, who's singing the praises of nerds everywhere - "D&D matters because of the basics: it reenforces good math skills, engages the imagination, encourages people to be social regularly..."
It's going on at http://www.mynorthwest.com and it's really entertaining. I played D&D for a short while (as any good nerd should at least once) but I've never been a huge advocate for it. I just like when people publicly say that being a nerd is good for kids.
Most parents start with sports and Baby Einstein videos...someday my children will be rolling 20-sided die, shuffling cards, playing videogames and reading books. Because the nerdiness should start early...the sports comes from peer and parental pressure later. Except football. I hated playing football.
...which makes me a fool. I just wanted to make a brief history of April Fools Day in my immediate family. I'll bold my personal accomplishments, and the rest generally involve some ploys my brothers did against our parents.
Daniel started it by convincing our dad that he was choking at the dinner table. My dad threw chairs across the room to give him the Heimlich...We had to hold back our dad once he found out it was a joke, and now if Daniel starts to choke, my dad makes us help him.
The next year, I convinced my friends that I was married to my "ex", Kimberly. We got dressed up, took pictures with her family and she borrowed her mom's HUMONGOUS diamond ring. That was a three-week long joke starting on my birthday and ending on April Fools Day. Man it was awesome. about 35 people called or wrote us to congratulate us on the engagement (or tell me how stupid I was for going back to her).
Two years later, while I was with my ex, Cassandra, I convinced my parents (via email) that she and I had eloped...because I had knocked her up. Since they weren't involved in the previous year, they believed me right away; My dad even started packing a suitcase and yelled at my older brother for "encouraging me". The end of the email read "P.S. April Fools"
Last year, my younger brother Derek called my parents and left a voicemail saying, "I was arrested because this guy was threatening to hit his girlfriend and I kicked the shit out of him." He even turned on the waterworks, saying, "I messed him up pretty bad...they took him in an ambulance." He had his friends, and us (his brothers) add to the drama. After both my parents left their respective works and started the two-hour drive to his school, my mother called every jail and station in the area until finally a cop said, "Are you sure he isn't April Fooling you?" Then they yelled at us and vowed never to get caught again.
This year, I decided to use something my mother told me against people: "You have too much stuff online, you're going to get your identity stolen!" I laughed at her, and then pretended that my account had been stolen, and $30,000 worth of charges were made. I even had most of the people I fooled throughout the day come back and help make it seem more real. The total was over 40 people fooled...losing count after the story spread beyond my circle of friends.
I have on major rule when it comes to lying: If you're going to tell a lie, when questioned about it don't give up right away. Instead, make up and EVEN BIGGER lie to overshadow the first one. If questioned further, take the lie further and always stand your ground. If I can make my own parents think I'm married, then I've done something right.
True Story.
Anyways, that was my reminiscent April Fools entry. Leave me a comment with your past jokes and exploits! I love a good laugh...and plus, once the dirt is settled, nobody was hurt in any of our jokes...except Daniel. Worth It!
'Cause I'm about to serve you up some knowledge Brah! And be careful, 'cause the plate's fucking hot...
Sometimes I have these fun little conversations with friends wherein I disperse subtle amounts of my knowledge regarding the workings of life, love and certain liberties. I always forget them because I don't write them down, but not this time.
Here's my take on The Lunch Date:
David: what're you up to? Friend: getting ready to go on a lunch date David: aww lunch dates are no good David: if it's a guy, you're setting him up for failure Friend: why? David: guys take most of the day to get into their groove...by lunch, we're only half capable of keeping up with a girl Friend: I am particularly fond of this guy Friend: hah David: plus, lunch dates are super innocent and most girls use them to keep guys at bay Friend: Oh. Mine isnt Friend: I want to get to know him better David: I guess it's fine considering you can't have a dinner date tonight David: but most guys know that a lunch date usually amounts to nothing. Lunch is where people take business partners or their kids to get them out of school for a little bit. David: dinner is where the magic happens Friend: True Friend: but magic cant happen tonight or tomorrow night Friend: AND I really really want to see this guy David: fair enough David: lunch will have to do David: good luck! Friend: I like your way of thinking though David: thanks
I left that last part in there just because it made me feel awesome...anyway, ladies, unless you've been with a guy for quite some time and are in a committed relationship, The Lunch Date is the least romantic date you can go on with a guy short of actively trying to repulse them.
If you really like the guy, you're going to have to work extra hard to send those signals at lunch, when we're only half awake. True story. We do dinner, because it gives us more time to plan out how we're going to talk to you and what we're going to talk about. And if a guy isn't ready by the evening, then either you're so hott that he's nervous, or he's just not as into it as you are.
As I said before, there's nothing wrong with a lunch date, but like brunch or a B&B, romantic lunches are typically reserved for couples that have been doing the relationship thing for a while. On the other hand, Dinner Dates are better for courting because of a few key components:
Food usually takes longer to prepare, giving more time for conversation. This allows people to test their compatibility in a one-on-one environment.
It is closer to sunset and the evening, both naturally more romantic times of day.
Social stigmas for any drinking (alcoholic beverages) generally infer that it should be after 6 p.m. - also, most restaurants don't open their whole bar until then either. This means dinner is the only time you can literally "wine and dine" someone, classic wooing material.
Lastly, the transition from romantic date to physical contact is generally catered to by the fact that it's evening (i.e. a walk home with hand holding, a goodnight kiss, or any third date scenarios).
In a pinch, lunch can make for a decent first date, BUT if you do dinner for the first date and lunch for the second, the natural regression makes men think they're headed into the Friend Zone. Keep this in mind, and make sure if lunch goes well not to delay a second date...and make it dinner this time.
Last day before classes start up again, and I decided to bust out "The Kid" again. That's right...two exams this week, and I'm going 'em blind! Not the wisest decision...but my last one ended up a B+, so I think I'm doing well.
The day started with lunch with Arlinda and Taylor at Outback. Pretty lax. Oddly enough, Arlinda said she was awoken by heavy breathing in the middle of the night, and asked me straight out, "Were you masturbating last night?" Taylor and I immediately busted out laughing, and he had to tell her, "That's just something you don't ask dudes."
Turns out she was hearing Taylor breathing heavy because his sinuses are clogged due to allergies. I answered her question anyway because she was genuinely curious...but you don't need to know more than that.
Anyway, I went on an adventure around Denton with Caroline later that day. We walked around in the park, and she taught me how to whistle with a blade of grass! I thought it was awesome because I've always wondered how. We hung out for a bit longer and I got to get a little zen for the day...it was nice.
I ended the day on two relatively high notes:
1) Taylor, Arlinda and I went to go see "I Love You, Man" and I laughed so hard I cried. The whole tie-in with Lou Ferrigno was hilarious, and just made me realize even more...
...why I should never call him Hulk in public should I ever meet him. Seriously, he could kill me. But anyway, it was nice to see a funny movie early in the year that didn't involve any frontal nudity. If 2009 is going to be anything like last year (i.e. "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" and "Forgetting Sarah Marshall") then there's going to be a lot of sausage in the laugh bank...
2) Was this surprise from Jessica for all of her friends / (soon to be) adoring fans. Turns out she kissed a girl, and everyone liked it:
I'm going to have that stuck in my head for a while, but I figure I could give her a shameless plug while I had the chance, so here goes: Jessica Harp. Give her a listen if you haven't already. She could be LEGEN - wait for it...
I plan on recording a new Podcast (Vlog) at some point this week, but I have to fiddle with some new software first! It'll be awesome, I promise. I also finished reading "The Bro Code" this break. Definately renewed my faith in a number of things, particularly
Article No. 1: Bros Before Hos.
It explains a lot of why I'm much happier lately, and why I started seeking to reconcile some issues I've been having lately. Because I should never let a woman come between me and my fellow bro. True Story.
Anyway, keep track of my Twitter this week. I'll be posting when I start broadcasting the podcast. If you want, you can join me and give me some talking ideas and add your own input. I might even give you a shout out or a plug...for now, I'mma go slap a little bass (no that's not a euphamism) and then go to sleep.
A vinyl sticker with big block letters Adherent to my chest. Tells your new friends, "I am a visitor here, I am not permanent." And the only thing keeping me dry is Where I am...
Things seem so out of context In this gaudy apartment complex. A stranger with your door key, Explaining that I am just visiting...
D.C. sleeps alone tonight..."
- The Postal Service The District Sleeps Alone Tonight
I have wanted an excuse to use this song, and I suppose leaving D.C. from a great calm vacation is the best I'm going to get. If you haven't been sick of hearing me say it yet, I love Washington D.C. It's a hub for power, history and beauty...someday, when I am the next Alexander the Great, I will erect a throne in the city's center.
Or maybe just visit my parents on holidays when I have a family of my own. Either or.
At any rate, we got a later start than I wanted this morning. We made good time, but we're stopping for now outside of Nashville. My mom still hadn't familiarized herself with "How I Met Your Mother" so my dad and I felt obligated to school her...
...we turned on the DVD player, and she got hooked. Now we've gone through all of Season 1 and most of Season 2. I think she felt most in touch with Lily and Marshall - they're cutesy, inseparable, border-line obnoxious (etc.), just like my parents are. My mom's a stereotypical girly-woman, and both my parents are what NORMAL people would call "clingy". /sigh
Oh well. It explains a lot of why I used to strike out a lot before I figured out that normal women my age don't like nice guys. I had good role models (which is a bad thing IMO). It took me two great relationships with terrible endings to learn how to be a jerk. I'm only barely finding a nice balance. It works.
Anyway, when I get back into town, I have a lot of homework to do. I also need to see a tailor and get my new suit taken in. Should be fun. I'm also shit-broke...which makes the next few months kinda interesting. Maybe I'll take up hooking?
I am web developer, with a knack for writing, and an avid interest in almost all things tech related.
I'm a University of North Texas alumnus, with a degree in Computer Science, a background in journalism, a passion for music, and a love for all things nerd.
...is timeless. He really is. And that's not saying the rest of the Rat Pack was any less amazing, but come on it's Frank. He put a magic into his music that...well, I can't help but want to love someone.
Posts
